


Isn't it Strange

by DJniner



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No Time Travel, BDSM, Begging, Bullying, Chores, Collars, Communication, Consensual Non-Consent, Degradation, Domme Victoria, Exhibitionism, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Foot Fetish, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Masturbation, Orgasm Denial, Power Exchange, Questionable Consent, Roleplay, Romance, S&M, Sadism, Sex Toys, Spanking, Stripping, Sub Maxine "Max" Caulfield, Teasing, Vaginal Fingering, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation, chasefield, loads more i can't think of right now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-04 14:32:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10992882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DJniner/pseuds/DJniner
Summary: Max breaks Victoria's camera. Victoria uses this to blackmail Max into an unconventional arrangement. The dominos begin to fall.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am again, writing more bdsm smut, cos apparently that's what I like. I'm hoping this one will stick with me a little more, because I'm planning for it to be equal amounts plot and porn. I have a limited knowledge of real life BDSM relationships, so I apologise if anything is off or inaccurate. Feel free to let me know in comments, but I can't promise to change it. Still, educational purposes and all that. 
> 
> This might be a little light on the porn for the first few chapters. Hope y'all will stick with me despite that!

**MAX**

Isn’t it strange, how one small moment, one little mistake, can alter your life so completely? For me, it was a combination of bad timing, a cramped classroom, and my own inherent clumsiness. The bell had just rung, signalling the mad rush to get out of class, and I was swinging my bag up onto my shoulder, while simultaneously chatting with Kate Marsh about whether or not she wanted to go get tea. I wasn’t looking where I was going. I didn’t realise how close to the table I was. I felt it first, brushing up against my bag and the backs of my thighs, and I moved to try and avoid walking into it. In doing so, my bag got caught on the table and dragged along it. The next thing I heard was a distinct crack, and then, the unmistakable sound of Victoria Chase. Angry.  


“What the fuck Max!”  


I froze. I didn’t want to look. I didn’t want to see what I knew must be on the floor. I didn’t want to see the look of fury on Victoria’s intimidating face. But I had to. I turned slowly, with a sinking feeling in my stomach, and sure enough, there she was, glaring at me with such outrage that I couldn’t meet her gaze. And as I dropped my eyes to the floor, there it was. Victoria’s extremely expensive camera, unmistakably broken.  


“Uh, hello, earth to hipster! Are you seriously trying to ignore me right now!?” Victoria’s voice was laced with venom, even more so than usual. She grabbed her camera to inspect it, and as she lifted it I saw a large crack down the lens. Not good, not good.  


“Oh my God, Vic, did she just break your camera?” This was from Taylor, her tone a mixture of shock and, oddly enough, delight. So not helping.  


Victoria thrust the broken camera at me, as if to say, ‘see, see what you did!’, but instead she said, “Do you know how much this cost, Maxine?” She didn’t even give me a time to respond. “I’ll tell you! Way more than you could ever afford. God, you are such a fuckup!”  


I finally found my voice, albeit weakly. “I-I’m sorry, Victoria. I didn’t mean to… to… it was an accident. I’m so sorry.” I truly felt awful. Victoria had never been kind to me. Since day one at Blackwell, she had seemed to take an immediate dislike to me. She was kind of mean and always harsh, even with her friends, so it was hard to like her, even if the way she spoke to me did cause… certain feelings… to occur. But I still would never have deliberately broken anything of hers, even if she was awful to me.  


“You better be fucking sorry. You will be fucking sorry.” Victoria sighed. “Well, what are we going to do about this?”  


She was looking at me expectantly, but I had no idea what she wanted me to say. I said I was sorry already. “Umm… um.”  


Victoria scowled, her pretty face twisted with anger. “Umm. Ummm.” She mocked me, and Taylor hid a smile behind her hand.  


“It was an accident Victoria,” Kate said, in an attempt to defend me. “Max said she was sorry.”  


“Mind your own business, Mary Kate! This is between Max and me.”  


Kate opened her mouth to speak again, but then seemed to think better of it. She looked apologetically to me. I understood.  


“Ugh, you two are so lame.” Victoria gestured with the camera again. “I’m going to see if I can get this fixed. You better fucking hope I can Maxine, or I guarantee you will pay!”  


With that, she grabbed her own bag, stuffed the camera inside, and strode out with Taylor on her heels. Taylor looked back as she left the classroom, smiling in an entirely un-reassuring manner. I suddenly realised that the entire classroom was silent, and everyone that had lingered after the bell was looking at me. I blushed, hating the attention, and the way it made me feel. I couldn’t escape fast enough. I hoped that would be the last of the whole terrible situation. But I knew it wouldn’t be. 

<\---->

I didn’t have to wait too long before Victoria was banging on my door, shouting through, “open up, loser, we need to talk!” It was later that night, and I’d been trying my best to forget what had happened, and how it made me feel. How Victoria always made me feel. Weak and pathetic and, most importantly, most concerningly, aroused. It had taken me a while to come to terms with that fact. At first, I’d tried to deny it, but as the weeks went by, and as Victoria grew bolder in the knowledge that she could bully me around without any form of retaliation on my part (after all, she was the Queen of Blackwell - what was I supposed to do, even if I had wanted to stop it?), I had to accept it. I liked when Victoria talked down to me. I liked it when she shoved me into lockers. I liked the way she looked at me, her beautiful, perfect face showing such disdain for me. I liked it. I was officially a total freak. Victoria was right about me. I was a loser. Weak and pathetic.  


After all, what kind of person likes being abused? Max Caulfield, apparently. Accepting it was one thing, but liking that part of myself was another thing entirely. I wished I didn’t feel this way. I wished I could be normal. I hated how Victoria made me feel, and loved it, all at the same time, and it was all just so maddeningly confusing. And now I had painted a target on my back by being my stupid clumsy self and breaking her camera, and I knew she would never let me forget it, never leave me alone again.  


The banging continued. “Max! Open this fucking door right now.”  


I was scared, not knowing what Victoria had in store for me. Had she been able to get her camera fixed? And if so, what did that mean for me? Would she let me off? I very much doubted it. I considered just not opening the door, but only for a second. That would just make this worse. I had to accept the situation I’d gotten myself into (stupid, stupid Max!), and I had to face it. So I steeled myself, walked to the door, and opened it.  


Victoria charged in before I could do or say anything, shoving me aside roughly, rounding on me as she reached the center of the room. She didn’t have her camera with her. Was that good or bad? She looked around my room with a critical eye, her face showing her distaste at having to be here, and then looked right at me. I wilted before her domineering gaze, hugging my arm to my chest and gripping my elbow in a weakly defensive manner, as if that would protect me from anything. I couldn’t meet her eyes, so stared somewhere off to the side of her head.  


“We have a problem, Maxine.” Victoria kept her voice even, cold, angry, but at least she wasn’t shouting at me. I couldn’t find the words to reply, but it looked like Victoria didn’t care. She kept going. “On the plus side, luckily my camera isn’t damaged beyond repair. But unfortunately for you, it’s going to cost a lot of money to fix. Money that,” and here she looked around my room again, her face a sneer of disgust, “we both know you cannot afford to pay back. Even if you sold everything you own in this little hovel, it still wouldn’t be enough. Do you see the problem, hipster?”  


I nodded, tears welling in my eyes, even as my, um, lower regions, began reaction to her scathing words.  


“So what do you propose we do about this?” Victoria crossed her arms, projecting a solid block of unwavering force. She knew I couldn’t pay. She’d said as much already. What did she want from me? I knew she wouldn’t leave until she got it, but I had no clue.  


“I… I don’t know…”  


Victoria scoffed. “Of course you don’t. You’re useless. But luckily for you, I have a compromise I am willing to offer.”  


“A com… compromise?” I felt a coil of dread and nervous tension in my body. What kind of compromise did Victoria want to offer me? And why did my mind have to immediately head towards perverse thoughts? I took a deep breath to try and steady myself. “What kind of… compromise?”  


“The way I see it, you have two options.” Victoria held up one finger. “Option one, you decline my offer and I send you the bill for the repairs. I don’t much care what you have to do to pay it, but you will pay it. I think that option would not be good for you. But option two.” Victoria added another finger. “Option two is my compromise. You will agree to being my personal bitch for a period of three months.”  


What!? I felt my mouth open, mostly in shock. I’m not sure I had words for that statement, but Victoria took it as a sign I was about to speak and she held up a hand to quell me.  


“Before you start, let me detail what that will entail.” In some part of my mind, the part that wasn’t freaking out, I couldn’t help but notice how clinical Victoria was being about all this. She was being so professional, like she was making some kind of sales pitch, or something. “Your basic duties will involve cleaning my room every other night. You will dust, wipe, hoover, whatever needs doing. And you will also do my laundry, of course. Anything else I might require of you, well, those tasks you will learn about as they come up. But rest assured, I will be getting my money’s worth. To sum up, your life will be over for the next three months. Any time not spent in class or doing homework, you will spend serving me. And then, once your three-month sentence is up, I will consider the camera repair paid for, and you can go back to doing… whatever the hell you do with your lame life.”  


What do you even say to something like that? My brain was a frenzy of activity, my thoughts racing, just like my heart.  


Victoria looked me in the eyes (when had she looked away, and why did that seem so important?) and spoke calmly and slowly. “Think about it, Max. I’ll give you one day. If you can agree to option two, come to my room tomorrow night. If you can’t, then I will take your absence to mean that you have chosen option one, and I’ll send you the bill. But make sure you’re certain. I’m very serious about this. Don’t come if you can’t take orders without question.”  


Then she was gone. She left my door open, and I heard her own shut from across the hall. I still hadn’t moved. My head was still spinning, and my knees felt weak. Victoria wanted me to be her personal bitch - she had used those words very specifically - and I couldn’t deny the excitement that coursed through my body just thinking those words, and all that they might involve. But there was also the fear, the nervousness, and of course the self-loathing that those feelings stirred up in me.  


Victoria had given me a day to decide. I felt I would need every second of those twenty-four hours. 

**VICTORIA**

As soon as I was in my own room, the door closed between Max and me, I collapsed back against the door and took a slow, deep breath, sighing out all the tension and anxiety I felt. My plan was a crazy one. And I used the word plan loosely. It was kind of on the fly thinking, but I couldn’t help myself. After calming down and realising the camera would be fine with a little fixing up, my mind started to formulate all of these ways I could turn this situation to my own advantage. This was just the one I settled on. Max Caulfield, my slave for a whole three months. God, I hoped she picked option two so badly. But I couldn’t let her know that. I couldn’t let her know how badly I wanted this. How I longed to see that little nerd down on her knees for me. So fucking hot. Just the thought was getting me excited.  


I quickly locked my door and crossed the room, shedding clothes as I went. My sweater went first, then my shirt, and finally my skirt. I had to shuffle my hips to get the damn thing off as fast possible. I lay down on my bed, lifted my hips and pulled down my tights until they met my knees, giving me enough room to access my wetness. My panties were already soaked. I touched myself through them for a few minutes, before slipping my fingers inside the waistband and finding the source of all this craziness.  


I’d had plenty of Max fantasies before, but never had they felt so close to actually happening. Sure, morally, this situation was less than ideal. If I let myself think about it for more than a minute, I knew it was wrong. I was abusing the situation and taking advantage of her. I didn’t think for one second that Max would enjoy any of what I had planned for her. I was using her shyness and her insecurity to bully her into a situation she wouldn’t enjoy, but I was letting myself do it because I wanted it more than anything, and I was too weak to resist the temptation. This was not safe, or sane, and certainly not consensual. Which was exactly why I wasn’t letting myself think about it.  


Instead I thought about her on her knees, kissing my feet and begging for a taste of my pussy. I thought about her being forced to clean my room wearing nothing more than a revealing little french maid outfit, no underwear, her cute little ass exposed every time she had to bend down. I thought about taking that ass over my knee and spanking it, imagined the sounds she would make as my hand made contact with her flesh. I imagined sliding my hand between her legs and the way I could make her scream my name with my talented fingers. It was all I needed to bring me right to the brink. I teased myself on the edge for a moment or two, and then, thinking about forcing Max down between my thighs, how her tongue would feel against my clit, I allowed myself to go over. I muffled my moans with a hand and bucked my hips, riding the orgasm for as long as possible.  


Oh, how I wished all of that could be true. But I would settle for making her slave away for me, and perhaps, if I got the chance, I would push her limits just a little. I would see how far I could take this.  


I really hoped she would choose option two. 

**MAX**

I really did need every second of those twenty-four hours. Even right now, standing outside Victoria’s door, hand poised to knock, I still wasn’t sure. I had no idea what to expect beyond what she had already told me. Menial housework, but even that was somehow incredibly arousing. Just served to further emphasise how messed up I was, I guess. Yet what truly excited me, and scared me at the same time, was the prospect of what else Victoria would demand. I thought about those words again. Personal bitch. What exactly did they mean? Was it truly just housework, or did Victoria have other, more sexual things in mind? But no, I wouldn’t, didn’t, expect that. That was my own perverse desires trying to distort the reality. Victoria didn’t see me that way. I was just being delusional to hope that.  


The other option, option one, was not really an option at all. What would I do if I chose that? Beg my parents for money. They would be so disappointed. Get a part-time job and hope it’d be enough. I didn’t see that being possible. I couldn’t bear to ask my friends for help either. And Victoria was probably right, even if I sold all my personal belongings, no doubt that wouldn’t be enough either. She hadn’t said how much the repairs cost, but given how expensive the camera was, I could guess. No, option one was no option. It’s just that option two was the unknown, and I got the sense that it was the one Victoria wanted me to pick, and that made me nervous in and off itself. She had proven herself to be vindictive before. Could I really survive what she had in mind for me? Either way, I knew I was screwed, no matter which option I chose.  


So I might as well chose the one that could potentially lead to something I might enjoy, however depraved that thought made me.  


I knocked.  


It felt like an eternity before Victoria opened her door, but in reality, it was only a few seconds. I couldn’t look her in the eyes as she examined me, and I felt my cheeks glowing with embarrassment. Just my being here was an acknowledgement of my agreement to her proposition. After an uncomfortable amount of time, Victoria sighed loudly and said, in her usual annoyed sounding tone, “well, are you coming in or not loser?”  


I meekly stepped inside, and she shut the door behind her. My nerves were roiling snakes inside me. I clutched at my t-shirt just to have something for my hands to do, feeling more self-conscious than I ever had before. Victoria walked over to her desk and took a seat. She looked so calm and in control. And I suppose she was, for real this time, now that I was here.  


“I hope you’re ready to work hard, Maxine.” Victoria looked at me long and hard, as if reading my very soul. “I expect the best from the bitches who serve me. If you fail to live up to my expectations, there will be consequences. I don’t want a lazy slave. Do you understand, bitch?”  


I found a spot on my shoe and convinced myself it was the most interesting thing in the world. My hands wrung into my t-shirt. My throat felt dry and raspy as I croaked out a single word, “yes.” Already I could feel my body reacting in that way it does, that way that makes me feel so wrong and dirty and pathetic.  


“Good,” Victoria said, her tone neutral, and very hard to read, as always. “You can start by tidying my room. I’ll direct you today, just so you know how I want things done, but I expect you to remember for the future, because it won’t happen again. See those books. They belong on that shelf, and they are organised alphabetically by author and then title. Make sure they go back in the correct places.”  


The books Victoria indicated were stacked, rather neatly, by her bed. As I moved to pick them up, I took the opportunity to glance around the rest of the room. It was already quite tidy and clean, which wasn’t exactly surprising. This was Victoria’s room, after all. She always kept herself looking neat and perfect. Why would her room be any different? The books were mostly about photography, but there was one that caught my attention. It was some kind of comic book thing. And it looked Japanese. That was actually very surprising. I didn’t know Victoria liked this kind of thing. It wasn’t the only one she had either. As I sorted the books and put them into place, I noticed a few more scattered among her collection.  


I must have taken too long looking at one, because Victoria spoke up, her voice holding an icy edge, “it’s called manga. And if you tell anyone, I’ll end you. Got it?”  


I looked at her, honestly shocked. Why did she care? She was the Queen. If she said manga was cool, no one would argue with her. “I… yes… I understand. I wouldn’t have… said anything…”  


Victoria didn’t reply to that. “Now you can hang those clothes up in my closet. Shirts first, then my cardigans, and then skirts. You’ll see how I have things laid out. Or are you two stupid to understand?”  


I flushed. “No… um… I can do it…” Her casual insult made my nether regions tingle. Oh, this was going to be harder than I thought. I could feel my body betraying me. I just hoped Victoria wouldn’t notice, as I picked up the neatly folded clothing, freshly laundered, and moved to hang them up in the wardrobe. I was making my way through the clothing, one at a time, hanging them as neatly as possible, almost on auto pilot, when suddenly, as I picked up the next garment, I realised it was not… exactly… hangable. I looked at the lacy white panties in my hands and felt my face, which had already been warm with embarrassment, erupt into a flaming inferno. I was actually touching a pair of Victoria’s panties!  


“Jeez loser, it’s just a pair of panties. I know you’ve probably never seen underwear that expensive, or that sexy. I bet you just wear Hello Kitty or some childish shit like that, don’t you?” Victoria laughed, and then looked at me thoughtfully for a second. I didn’t get a chance to think about what that look might mean, before she was instructing me further. “Those go in the middle drawer. Bra’s in the top one. Tights and other such things go in the bottom. Think you can remember that hipster? I know you’re not used to handling all of this sophisticated lingerie.”  


I just nodded. Victoria’s words had cut deep, but that just made them all the more arousing. I wasn’t used to this stuff, it was true, and while I wasn’t wearing Hello Kitty, my panties did have cute little animals on them. Not to mention the feel of Victoria’s underwear in my hands was distinctly distracting. I was such a pervert. I quickly rid myself of the offending garment, along with any such similar items as and when they came up. At one point, I came upon a slinky black g-string, and couldn’t help but imagine Victoria wearing it. It was a hard image to shift for the rest of the night.  


Speaking of the rest of the night, it mostly passed without serious incident. I was instructed, bit by bit, in exactly how Victoria wanted things tidied away, and in how I was to clean each area, on what days, and the precise steps I would need to take. For example, when dusting a surface, I must remove every item on it beforehand, and then place them back exactly as they had been once I was done. For cleaning her mirror, I was to use a certain polish, and paper towels to dry it. Anything else left ugly streaks, according to Victoria. I wasn’t about to argue.  


Probably one of the most humiliating tasks she set out for me was how I was to clean her toilet. She was very specific in how I was to get down on my knees and really scrub it clean. Put some elbow grease into it, she said, and she had this… unusual smile on her face when she said it. I wasn’t sure how to take that exactly. It was embarrassing enough having to clean her toilet at all, let alone in how she wanted it done. It was almost like she took some kind of pleasure in seeing me down on my knees doing such a dirty job. But that couldn’t be right. I was just projecting my own perversion on her again, because of course I had to get all squirmy when she told me what I would be doing.  


Finally, though, I was done, and Victoria seemed at least somewhat pleased with my performance. “Give me your phone, before you go.” I anxiously handed it over, and watched as she put in her number, and took down mine. “Just in case I have need of you at any point. I expect you to drop whatever it is you’re doing and do as I say, understand? You’re at my beck and call. Got it nerd?”  


There was that interesting spot on my shoe again. “Yes,” I mumbled.  


“I expect you back here Friday night, whether you have plans or not. I don’t care. You will be here, and you will clean my room exactly as I showed you today.”  


I nodded, a mute acquiesce. I didn’t have plans, of course. Not yet anyway. I was sure Warren would invite me to do something, but I guess I’d have to find a way to turn him down.  


“Go on then,” Victoria suddenly said, not loudly, but firmly. “Get out of my sight loser.” As I was rushing to do just that, I heard her call one last thing behind me, “But don’t you dare masturbate thinking about my panties!”, and then the door was shut and I was left alone with that warning ringing in my skull. I stopped in the hall, breath coming in shaky gasps. Was I that obvious? Or was she just messing with me? Did she know? Oh god! Knees like jelly, I wobbled over to my room.  


I wanted to. Oh yeah, I wanted to badly. It had been all I could think about all night. But now, with Victoria’s words repeating over and over in my head, I found myself hesitating. I shrugged out of my jeans and lay down on my bed. My stupid animal panties were practically stuck to my thighs I’d leaked so much, and I was so turned on, but I just couldn’t do it. I groaned and turned over on my bed, stuffing my face into my pillow.  


I screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From what I understand, the whole Safe, Sane, and Consensual thing is a big deal for real life BDSM relationships, so Victoria's blackmailing Max is pretty bad, and not just because blackmail is bad in principal. If this is off putting to anyone, I apologise, and hope that you'll stick with the story anyway. I assure you, this will be addressed, and shouldn't last too long.


	2. Chapter 2

****

**VICTORIA**

I liked to think I was good at reading people. It was one of the main reasons I was able to keep up my Queen Bee persona. Knowing just what sore spot or insecurity to prod to get exactly what I wanted. For example, I could tell within moments of meeting Courtney Wagner that she was a total dyke, and it didn’t take much more time to figure out she was one hundred percent submissive as well. Her sexuality was obvious in the way her eyes lingered on my body. Her submissiveness wasn’t as evident, but over time it became apparent in the way she would quickly scamper to do my bidding, always so eager to please. I liked that about her. She was a good little friend with benefits. Mostly my benefit, but she didn’t mind. As I said, eager to please. I suspected she wanted more, but I was very clear about exactly what she meant to me. She was a friend, who I sometimes liked to fuck if I was horny, but we would never be more than that. She understood that.  


I had Max Caulfield pegged as just a nerdy, shy little virgin. Naïve in the ways of sexuality. I saw how she hung around with that Warren dork. He was clearly into her, but she seemed totally oblivious to this. I figured she’d eventually wise up and they would go on to make little nerd babies with each other. Classic school romance bullshit. It pissed me off because Max deserved so much better. I would never admit it to anyone, but I found Max so entirely captivating. She was a nerd and hipster, yes, but underneath all of that, she was beautiful, with her adorable freckles and perfect blue eyes. And then there was the way her teeth peaked out when she smiled. I couldn’t explain why I found it so endearing, but I did. It was so stupid, and so not Queen Bee, but I couldn’t deny it to myself. I could deny it to the world, but never myself. Then there was her unmistakable, raw talent as a photographer, which I was at once jealous of, and proud of at the same time. Only the best for Victoria Chase, after all. Except, I’d never have her.  


Or so I’d thought.  


Then I saw the look in her eyes when she handled my panties for the first time. It wasn’t the blush that tipped me off – no, she’d been blushing the entire time, since she had arrived at my room – but her eyes, the tremble of her lip, the way she held them, one finger idly fondling them. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t even aware she was doing it. And she did the exact same thing each time she came across a piece of my lingerie. Perhaps you could argue she was just not used to handling such expensive underwear, but I didn’t buy that for a second. No, she was turned on, unmistakably so. I was sure of it.  


I was so good at reading people, but I had missed it in Max. Somehow, I hadn’t seen her true desires. Had I just been blinded by my own interest in her? Or was she just so good at hiding it? For whatever reason, I had missed it, but now it was clear before my eyes. Maxine Caulfield was interested in girls. Perhaps even interested in me? And if I had missed that fundamental fact, what else had I missed? And what else could I potentially force her to reveal about herself? Making Max my slave, however amoral, was the best thing I ever did. I was determined to take full advantage and find out everything there was to know about Max. Were my fantasies really so farfetched? I would find out. And if they weren’t, I would make Max mine.  


As Max was leaving, I couldn’t help but call out to her. It wasn’t planned. It was just pure impulse. I told her that she better not dare masturbate to the thought of my panties. I saw her pause in the hall, frozen at those words, just before I shut the door behind her. I wondered what she thought. What must be going on in her little head right now. Mostly I wondered if she would obey me. I wished I had some way of knowing. Prior to my warning words, I would have bet my life on the fact that she would have fingered herself raw thinking about my sexy lingerie and how they felt in her hands. Maybe she still would. Maybe my words would have no impact on her. But if they did have an impact, would she obey?  


Either way, I found my favourite dildo and fucked my pussy so hard while imagining Max lying in bed, all frustrated, all night. 

<\---->

Friday night Nathan was hosting another private Vortex Club get together. These were different to the regular Vortex Club parties in that only Vortex Club members could attend. It was more of a personal get together between friends, although I wouldn’t classify everyone who attended as a friend. I was pretty choosey about who earned that title, and only two people in the Vortex Club belonged on that list. The first was Taylor Christensen. The second was Nathan Prescott.  


I’d known Nathan since I was a child. In fact, I couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t just been there. Our parents were friends and his regularly attended my parent’s art and photograph exhibitions at the Chase Space. It was at those times, when we’d been forced to hang out with each other, that we had gotten to know each other. I found he was like a kindred spirit. He was almost like a brother to me.  


Tonight, Nathan had arranged one of Blackwell’s meeting rooms as the location for our little gathering, and of course he’d taken care of the alcohol and drug situation as usual. It was a pretty casual event, but nevertheless, Victoria Chase always had to look her best. I was just trying to decide what to wear when a faint knock came at my door. I smiled and sauntered over in my bra and panties. As expected, Max was on the other side, and her eyes nearly fell from her sockets as she took in my appearance. I thrust a hip out to one side and smirked at her. I was wearing a black lacy bra and matching panties – Agent Provocateur, of course. Max had no chance.  


“Like what you see, Maxine?” I put a little extra sultriness in my voice, and was rewarded with a deep blush suffusing her cheeks. If I had any doubts about Max and her sexual orientation, this just put them to bed. She couldn’t take her eyes off of me. I watched her splutter and fail to find a response to that for a moment or two, before cutting her embarrassed stuttering off and inviting her in. I suddenly knew how I wanted to spend the evening before the party. Max could clean my room later. First, she was going to help me select the perfect outfit. This was going to be so much fun.  


Max has seemingly found the willpower to look away from my barely covered body. She was currently looking at everything but me, as if seeking something to anchor herself to. I snapped my fingers to get her attention. “I’m over here, dork.” I waited until her eyes trained on mine. I could tell it was a struggle for her, but I have to say, I enjoyed teasing her in this way. “Today is going to be a little different. I have a party tonight, so I’ll be going out in a bit. Which means, before you clean my room, you’re going to help me pick out the perfect outfit. I know, I know, what does a loser hipster with a tragic fashion sense know about the perfect outfit, but this is what I want, so you’re going to do it, and if I think you’re not taking it seriously, I will not be pleased. And trust me, you don’t want to make me any angrier than I already am with you. I’ve actually been nice to you so far. You know, I can think of some really horrible jobs I could make you do. You don’t want that, do you Max?”  


Max shook her head frantically, her neck length hair whipping back and forth. Her eyes were wide and fearful. It was so hot. Although, I did feel a twinge of regret at how I was playing with her. She had no idea I wouldn’t really do anything too bad to her - I wasn’t a monster, after all - but it was just so much fun to tease her with the possibility. For a moment, I wished this was the real thing, that I could talk to her about her limits, and truly unleash my sadism as far as was acceptable. But it wasn’t real, it was just a dangerous game I was playing, a game I was playing with Max’s emotions and… but I shut that thought down before it could overwhelm me. I didn’t want to accept that what I was doing was ultimately wrong.  


Instead, I focused my attention back on the blushing cutie standing before me. “Good. And after you’ve helped me get ready, you will clean my room as I showed you, and make sure you lock up when you leave. If you touch anything you’re not supposed to, rest assured I’ll know!”  


“I… I won’t… I promise.” Max looked so perfectly cowed. Not that it was that unusual, but the difference of standing in front of her, barely clothed, while she trembled before me, seemed to make the power I held that much more arousing.  


“Let’s get started then.”  


What followed was an interesting hour or so. Max was pretty much useless at everything I demanded of her, as expected, but the pleasure I felt in pointing all of this out was tremendous. I always felt that the best way of breaking down a person, emotionally, was to use things that were true, or that the person at least felt was true. It was how I liked to verbally humiliate and degrade. And sure, I still occasionally felt that guilt – Max was not consenting to this treatment – but I tried to convince myself it was okay because, in a way, she had consented to this when she agreed to be my personal bitch for three months. And besides, it wasn’t that much different to how I treated most people in life, just a lot more focused. I was only partially successful in my attempt to lie to myself.  


To start with, I had Max help me touch up my make-up. My day to day routine was fine, but for this occasion, I needed more of an effort. Max tried her best, but she was pretty useless. She didn’t even know what half of the cosmetics I used were, so when I told her to pass me one, she often just stared blankly at the dresser full of supplies and hovered her hand as she tried to figure out what I meant. I had to stifle a giggle. It was pretty amusing. But I needed to keep my firm face as I rebuked her for being so useless.  


She was no better gathering the clothes I instructed her to get from my closet. I had considered each outfit beforehand, and I was pretty sure which one I was going to go for, but I didn’t want to deny myself the fun in sending Max to collect each one, only to scold her when she brought the wrong thing. I suppose I could have been a little more helpful, point her in the right direction, perhaps, but I wasn’t, and I didn’t. When she did ask for help, I told her, in no uncertain terms, that she would get no help from me. After all, how would she learn otherwise? It was cruel, sure, but I am a sadist, you know. And there was some truth in the harsh lessons.  


“Someday you might even thank me, Maxine. I’m teaching you valuable lessons a woman should know, after all. You might even learn a thing or two by the end of your three-month sentence.”  


Max nodded, miserably, and mumbled something along the lines of, “s’pose so.”  


If she had been my true submissive, I would have scolded her for her insolence. As it was, I let that one slide. See, I could be nice.  


As each outfit was assembled, I had Max assist me in getting dressed, like I imagined a body servant would do for some royal princess or something. It was a little weird, if I’m honest, and I’m not sure I enjoyed the experience entirely, but I did enjoy the look of embarrassment on Max’s face, and that more than made up for any uncomfortableness on my part. Once I was attired in each outfit, I would model it for Max, and command her to tell me what she thought of it. Her opinion didn’t really matter. As I said before, I was pretty sure I knew which one I’d be wearing in the end, but forcing Max to comment on them, even compliment me, through so much blushing, was just perfect.  


“What do you think of this one?” I was wearing a pin-striped shirt, a long black pencil skirt, and matching black pumps.  


Max looked at me like a doe in the headlights. “Umm…” The question forced her eyes to take in all of my body. I struck a pose and smiled as she opened her mouth slightly, her breathing heavy. I’m pretty sure she didn’t even realise she was doing it. My personal opinion of the outfit was that it was fine, nothing special, but given the look in Max’s eyes, perhaps I should re-evaluate?  


“Let’s try another,” I said, not waiting for her to give her judgement this time. After all, her verbal opinion didn’t really matter. It wouldn’t be helpful either way. What mattered more, what I was really looking for, was her physical reaction.  


I quickly stripped down, my back to Max, but I could feel her eyes on me. A strategic glance in my mirror confirmed that feeling. I didn’t mind. I liked how her eyes lingered on my ass. If it were anyone else, or in any other situation, I would have been mad, but I wanted Max to desire me. I was happy she was this attracted to me. It helped with the guilt too. At least she was getting some actual pleasure form this experience. It was a comforting thought.  


My next outfit was the one I had already picked for myself. It was the last one I’d try on. It consisted of a knee length navy blue dress and black and white patterned pumps. Pretty simple overall, but with the right jewellery, it was stunning. One look at Max’s face was all it took for me to know I had chosen correctly. “And this?” I just had to ask, hand on my hip.  


Max swallowed heavily. “Wowser,” she said softly, her tone very breathy. Was it involuntary? Max turned a furious shade of red and dropped her gaze almost immediately, obviously shamed by the appearance of her inner lesbian.  


I laughed softly, pretending not to have noticed the little slip up. “Well, if Maxine Caulfield approves, I guess this is the one.” I let sarcasm drip into my voice, just for appearances sake, despite the fact I actually meant the words. It’s not as if I valued her fashion sense, obviously not, but I was flattered by her involuntary compliment.  


A few minor adjustments and some last-minute additions and I was good to go. Before I left, handbag tucked under my arm, I turned to Max and said, “Make sure you put all of these clothes back where they belong. Clean everything like I showed you. I want this place spotless by the time I get back. The spare key is on my desk there. Lock up when you’re done and slide the key under the door. Got it slave?”  


“Yes,” Max murmured dejectedly. I think cleaning while I was there to supervise was one thing, but the thought that I would be out and about having fun while she slaved away cleaning my dorm was extra humiliating for her. That only served to delight me even more.  


“Good girl.” I’m not sure what caused the ‘girl’ portion of that phrase to slip out. It wasn’t intended, but Max didn’t seem to realise I meant it as a compliment, and not as a mocking insult. She lowered her head in embarrassment, which was somewhat lucky because I’m not sure I had complete control over my facial features at that point, as I realised my own little misstep. But by the time she looked back up, I had mastered myself once more. “Good,” I reaffirmed, and then made my exit before I could fumble any further.  


Had I got too comfortable with the situation already? Whatever the case may be, I needed to take more care in the future. Max was not my submissive, not in the way I wished, and I had to remember that. I had to keep my game face on, lest she detect any sign of my unique desires. I needed to be Victoria Chase, Queen Bitch of Blackwell. Not Victoria Chase, wannabe girlfriend and Mistress of Max Caulfield. 

<\---->

The party was in full swing now. I sat off to the side of the dance floor, in a recessed nook that was decorated with comfortable arm chairs, lounges, and poufs. The air was thick with smoke, making the whole world feel hazy, the thumping music somewhat muted in this far corner only adding to the distorting effect of the space. I hadn’t taken any strong drugs, just a little bit of weed, so it wasn’t like I could blame it on that. I was thoroughly drunk though.  


Hayden occupied the big lounge, half-conscious with two of his sluts hanging all over him. He wasn’t much of a dancer. His go to course of action at these things was to get as wasted as possible and pass out in the corner, so I was used to his presence. He might as well not exist at this point anyway. His fangirls weren’t any better.  


The only other person in the chill area was Nathan. He was in one of the armchairs next to me, head lolled back, beer bottle held loosely in one hand. A long silence held between us. It was so wonderfully comforting. But as I looked over at him, studying his features, I noticed he had his eyes closed, and his expression was neutral, but I could tell he was thinking dark thoughts by the way his hand gripped the bottle tightly. It was a small tell, but I knew Nathan, and I knew what to look for to read his mood. I reached out to grasp his other hand. He didn’t jump, but I felt him tense slightly, but only for a moment. He knew the feel of my hand better than anyone. Slowly, he opened his eyes.  


“You okay?” I asked softly.  


He blinked a few times. I waited patiently. It was best not to rush with Nathan. He would tell me if he wanted to. Finally, he said, “No, but I don’t want to talk about it.”  


I nodded, understanding.  


“Thanks though.” He squeezed my hand.  


I just smiled at him. No words needed. We stayed silent like that for a little while longer, but Nathan didn’t close his eyes again. Instead, I could feel him searching mine. I looked away.  


“What’s your deal?”  


I sighed. Of course, he could tell my mind was elsewhere. Truth was, I couldn’t stop thinking about Max. Ever since this whole deal began, she had been dominating my thoughts more and more. Much more than usual. I looked back at him. Could I tell him the truth? Yes, of course. Would he judge me? Not harshly, I was sure, but I knew he would be just a little bit disappointed in me. It was easy to ignore my own second thoughts, but if Nathan voiced them out loud, I wasn’t sure I could banish those as easily. I let out another sigh.  


“I’m doing something really shitty.”  


He sat up straighter. He didn’t say anything, just waited for me to continue. I suddenly knew he wouldn’t pry. He’d let me drop it there, if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to. Not now that I’d started. This might even be exactly what I needed to sort this mess out in my head. I tried to find the right words.  


“I’m sure Taylor told you how Max accidentally broke my camera?” He nodded. “It wasn’t badly broken, but… I started to… I used the accident to pretty much blackmail Max into being my slave for three months.” His eyes widened, ever so slightly. “I know, I know, it’s wrong. But you know how I… feel. I just couldn’t pass up this chance to get just a little taste of what I want. It’s not like I’m tying her up and spanking her ass or anything. I’ve just been having her clean my room, Nathan. Simple shit. I don’t intend on going further than that. But you have no idea how good it feels to see her down on her knees, just… ugh. It’s so fucking tempting.”  


Nathan gave my hand another squeeze. “V, I do understand. And it’s me, you know I’m not going to judge you. We both aren’t exactly the most moral people in the world. We’re pretty fucked up. On the flip side, you know what Jefferson would say to all this, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question. “Again, I’m not judging. I do know how you feel about Max. Just think about what you’re doing.”  


“I’ve been trying not to,” I admitted, with a shaky little laugh. “But honestly, I can’t stop the thought from popping into my head. That I need to stop this before someone gets hurt. But Nathan, I think Max is a lesbian, and I’m pretty sure she has the hots for me.”  


He took a swig of his beer, swilled it around, swallowed. Took his time replying. “Are you sure? And even if she is, does that make what you’re doing better, or worse?”  
I hadn’t thought of that. Shit!  


“I’m sure.” That I was certain of at this point. “But goddamn Nathan, I hadn’t even thought of that.”  


He smiled, dryly. “Look, I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. You’re Victoria fucking Chase. If you want something, or someone, go get them! You like Max. Tell her. Stop beating around the bush and being all scared. What’s the worst that can happen? And at this point, given how sure you are that she’s into you, maybe she will forgive you and you can fix this. But the longer you leave it, the worse it’ll be. Don’t give me that, ‘but what about my reputation’ bullshit. I don’t want to hear it. If someone has a problem with you and Max, they have me to deal with. Or are you just afraid of her rejecting you?”  


I scowled at him. Asshole. But he was right. That is what I was afraid of. I didn’t care what people thought about me and Max being in a relationship. They could talk all they wanted. I was Victoria Chase, the Queen Bitch, and they better fall in line. But if Max rejected me, if she turned down my advances, could my reputation survive that?  


Nathan laughed at my scowl. “Hey, look, before, I agreed with you. It was a risky move, asking Max out. But you said it yourself, you think she is into you. Way that I see it, the risk is much lower. So I say, grow some fucking balls, and do it.”  


Asshole was right. Goddamn it. But just because she was into me, didn’t mean she would be into my specific brand of kink. This was too fucking complicated. I suddenly just wanted to get really, really drunk.  


“I need a drink.”  


Nathan shook his head. “Fine, but we’re talking about this some more later!” 

****

**MAX**

Victoria knew. She had to know. Why else would she be flaunting her body around like that, making me help her get dressed, trying on amazing outfit after amazing outfit and insisting that I give her my thoughts on it. She knew I was attracted to her, and she was loving every second of rubbing my face in it. Queen Bitch, reigning supreme. I couldn’t get the image of her amazing butt in those sexy little black panties she had on out of my head. The way she wiggled out of each ensemble, her back to me, which I’m sure was entirely on purpose. I tried to push them from my mind, tried to focus on the task at hand, but every time those images crept back in. For every second that I spent cleaning Victoria’s dorm room, I was taunted by them, and by my own perverse desires.  


Even when I had finished my jobs, and returned to my own room (slipping the spare key back under her door as instructed), I was tormented by them. I changed into my pj’s, beige shorts and a cute t-shirt with a cartoon smiley face on it, and collapsed onto my bed. I couldn’t stop my mind from conjuring up Victoria Chase, wearing her way too sexy underwear, and nothing else. I mean, jeez, she was going to a lame college party, not trying to seduce the President. Overkill much. But I wasn’t really upset, just frustrated. I wanted to touch myself in naughty places so bad, while fantasy Victoria danced sexily in my head, but that would be wrong? Wouldn’t it? God, why did I have to be such a loser?  


Fantasy Victoria laughed at me. Sneered at me. Called me a dork and a hipster and freak. She spat at me. Slapped me. Pushed me down to the floor and kicked me.  


I cried quietly, and slipped my fingers into my shorts. 

<\---->

I was dreaming of Victoria. She banged on a drum and called my name, drawing it out like a song. Only, it wasn’t a dream. I groaned and rolled onto my back, my blankets tangled around my legs. My hand was still in my shorts. I pulled it free, still groggy, still waking up. It was dark outside. The banging came again. Thud, thud, thud. And then her voice, calling through my door.  


“Maxiiiiiineeee,” Victoria said, singsong. She giggled and I heard scratching at the door. “Max, Max, Maxie. Open uuuup.”  


I stumbled up, walking on legs that still wanted to be asleep, and opened my door. Victoria was leaning against the doorjamb, looking very much drunk. Her hair was messier than I’ve ever seen it, her eyes heavy lidded, and she actually smiled at me. She had a bottle of some kind in her hand. I assumed it was beer. She pointed at me with the bottle.  


“There she issss.” Her words slurred. “My Maxie. My lil’ slave girl. Come. Come.”  


She staggered away from my door, almost falling. Before I knew what was happening, I was moving to catch her. She clutched at me and leant her head on my shoulder. “Oops.” She giggled.  


“Come on,” I said, helping her cross the rest of the hall to her room. “Do you have your key?”  


“Hmmmmmmmm.” She drew it out way too long, before beginning to fumble in her purse, lips pursed. It was adorable. I tried not to smile. If she remembered anything of this in the morning, I felt for sure I would be in big trouble. I wasn’t about to add to that by letting on how much I was amused by the situation. Victoria finally found the key, and brandished it aloft as if she had discovered some secret treasure in a video game dungeon. “Ah ha! Gotcha!” She tried to fit it in the lock, missing the first few attempts, but finally succeeding. She gave me a look, as if asking if I was proud of her. I just helped her turn the key and then moved into the room.  


“You’re so nice Max,” she whispered against my neck. I froze. Did she really just say that, or was I going insane? Was I still dreaming? “Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to uphold.” She pulled out of my grip, lax as it was with my shock, and turned to face me, her face a comical mask of seriousness. “I’m… Victoria Chashe…. Qweeen Beeeeatch.” And then she fell backwards onto her bed and started laughing.  


Yeah, I must be dreaming. I stomped on my foot. Ow. Okay, maybe not. That just made Victoria laugh louder. This was the weirdest night of my life. What was going on? I’ve heard it said that drunk people are often more honest than their sober personas. Is this… could this really be what Victoria thought? Did she really like me? But she was so mean to me all the time. Was that all just an act to protect her reputation? I was too tired for this. I needed to get out. I needed to think. I needed to sleep. I knew I should make sure Victoria was safe and settled, but… but…  


“Max.” Victoria had stopped laughing. She was looking at me with a funny expression on her face. I couldn’t place it. “My feet are sore.”  


“Uh…”  


Victoria smiled and lifted a foot. “Take my heels off for me.”  


I blushed. Victoria continued to look at me, still smiling. I went to my knees and began to remove her heels, first one, and then the other. She sighed with relief as each one was removed and wiggled her bare toes. A voice in my head told me to get up, but another part of me said no, stay where you are. I listened to that one.  


“Max.” Victoria wet her lips. “Rub them for me.” She proffered a foot for emphasis, dancing toes in my face.  


I looked at her feet, at the way the skin wrinkled as she scrunched her toes up. The way her toes spread as she stretched them out, the gap between her big toe and her smaller ones. Her nails were painted white and the big toe was silvered with glitter. I’d never seen toenails so fancy. Or feet so sexy. Great. Another thing to add to my list of weird desires. This felt like we were stepping into new territory. Victoria had never demanded something like this from me before. I supposed it wasn’t so bad, on paper, but it felt strangely… intimate. I felt my blush glow even as I thought that. I wondered if Victoria would really be asking this if she was sober. I wondered if she’d be mad in the morning.  


Then I reached out and started to massage the offered foot. I used both hands, pressing my thumbs into the middle of her foot and dragging it slowly upwards, from heel to toe. I’d never massaged anyone’s anything before, so I really had no clue what I was doing, but Victoria moaned as my hands continued their ministrations, and I figured I was doing a good enough job. She lay back down on her bed, and I felt her leg dip a little as she relaxed. I moved one hand to support her foot and used the other to continue the massage. I rubbed with my thumb at the pad underneath her toes.  


“Mmmm. That feels… so… good.” I heard her giggle again. “Maybe… you’re not… useless… after all.” Her voice was teasing and gentle, unlike her usual cold and scathing tone.  


Five minutes ago, I was asleep in my room. Now here I was, kneeling by Victoria’s bed, and giving her a foot a massage. I didn’t even know what time it was. I’d say very late, given the fact that it was pitch black outside. Any normal person would be asleep. What was I doing? Why was I letting her do this to me? Was it just because I felt guilty for breaking her camera? Was it because a part of me actually enjoyed it? A combination of both? Either way, this was messed up. I wondered, not for the first time, what Victoria thought of all this? What did she get out of it, besides a personal servant to do all of her chores? Was that all she wanted? It seemed at odds with the way she had teased me earlier. And the way she was reacting to my foot massage. Was I just being silly, imagining things, colouring her motivations with my own perversion, or was this all somehow… erotic.  


I locked that thought away as soon as I had it. That was insane and stupid. Stop overthinking things. Focus on the task at hand, get it done, and get out of there. That’s what I had to do. That’s what I had to do for the next three months. Just get through it and everything would go back to normal.  


Victoria weakly lifted her other foot and nudged me with it. I turned my attention to that one, kneading the flesh with my thumb and fingers. She seemed to love it when I focused my attention on her heel and the pads under her toes, so I made those my priorities. I’m not sure how long I was massaging for before I realised Victoria had fallen asleep. I was so caught up in doing a good job that I failed to notice the soft snores coming from the bed. It was only when she groaned and rolled over, pulling her feet up close, that it dawned on me.  


Nevertheless, I remained on my knees for a few minutes, taking it all in. Every second of the night, since Victoria had woken me. I put my head in my hands and fought down a sob. What was I going to do? Could I really go on like this for three months? Yes, I could, and that was what scared me most of all. I probably would have stayed on my knees all night, rubbing Victoria’s feet, if she hadn’t fallen asleep. What kind of weirdo freak was I?  


I was so tired. Suddenly, I felt every bone in my body cry out for rest, my eyelids felt heavy, and my room seemed a thousand miles away. I’d just rest for a few minutes, and then go back to my room.  


I lay down on the floor, using my arms as a pillow.  


I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really loved writing drunk!Victoria. Hope you all enjoyed it as much as me. Inspiration for that portrayal was taken from Hayden's in game remark that Victoria is a funny drunk.


	3. Chapter 3

**VICTORIA**

Oh fuck did my head hurt. Last night was a blur. The last clear thing I remembered was chatting with Nathan, telling him about Max, and then going to get more alcohol. I tried to force my mind to recall what happened after that, as I sat up in bed. I was still wearing the dress from last night, but someone had taken my heels off. Max. Max had taken them off. I’d gone to her room… oh no. I rubbed at my pounding temples. I’d made her take them off, and then I’d told her to rub them. Was that all? I couldn’t remember. That alone was bad enough, I felt. But she had done as I told her. Max had given me a foot massage.  


Fuck that was hot.  


But had it ended there? I was still fully clothed, so that was good. That meant that nothing overtly sexual had taken place. Probably. This hangover was killing me. Why did I have to think right now? I swung my legs over the side of my bed. Oh. That was… I looked down. Max was lying on my floor, in her dorky pyjamas, and she was fast asleep. I moved my feet, having almost stepped on her, and then stared at the quietly sleeping girl.  


What the fuck happened last night?  


My enfeebled brain was no help. If anything more had happened, it was locked behind a wall of severe alcohol abuse, and the subsequent consequences thereof.  


“Shit,” I cursed softly. I looked at my alarm clock. It was nearly ten in the morning already. I’m not sure how much sleep I’d gotten, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to just lie back down and sleep. It was tempting. Put aside the dilemma and hope it just… fixed itself by the time I awoke again.  


But then Max moaned in her sleep, and twitched, as if she had been struck. “Stop it…” her voice was faint, slurred with sleep, and I had to lean in and listen closely to fully make it out. “Please, no… Mm sorry… Victoria… didn’t mean to… freak…”  


I couldn’t make sense of the words. I heard my name. Was she dreaming about me? Judging by the anguish on her resting face, it wasn’t a pleasant dream. She jerked again, violently this time, and her knee hit the side of my bed. She was suddenly awake, gasping and staring up at me. Well, that happened. Too late to go back to sleep now, Victoria. Here is your breakfast plate. Deal with it.

**MAX**

In my dream, I was being chased by shadowy people. They had people shapes, but it was as if my mind couldn’t focus on them. I think I was in some kind of mall. Everything was vague and unhelpful. I couldn’t find a way out. The shadow people threw things at me and yelled ‘freak’, ‘weirdo’, ‘monster’. I was crying. I called to them, begged them to stop. I said I was sorry. Over and over again. I rounded a corner. Victoria was there. She wasn’t a shadow person. She was real, clearly Victoria. But she was not a friend. She held a large stone in her hand. I begged, said I was sorry, that I didn’t mean to be a freak. She threw the stone.  


I woke up, a pain in my knee, and Victoria was there again. She looked down on me. Was I still dreaming? I felt tears trace tracks down my cheeks. I was gasping, I suddenly realised. I couldn’t breathe. Victoria was going to hurt me again. She had stones and harsh words and fierce slaps and I at once loved them and feared them and then I felt her arms around me and she was hugging me and when had I gotten to my knees and oh god, why did I have to be such a freak? I cried against her shoulder and she stroked my hair.  


I was talking. Why was I only just noticing that? “…don’t mean to be… but I can’t help it… I’m such a freak… I’m so sorry… I don’t understand anything…”  


And Victoria was saying, “Shhh, shhh, shhh,” repeatedly and finally I did. I stopped talking, but my cries continued, great wrecking sobs against her shoulder, and still she continued her mantra of soothing shushes.  


Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I was able to contain myself and regain some control, and the room was silent save for the sound of her hand brushing against my hair, and the occasional sniffle from me. What had I said? I couldn’t remember exactly, it all felt like a blur, but I had the terrible feeling that I had let out more of my secrets than I was comfortable with. Yet, if I had, Victoria seemed not to mind. I would never have imagined her touch could be so tender, and yet the feel of her fingers softly combing through my hair was one of the nicest things I think I’ve ever experienced. I wished I could stay like this forever, in this moment, because I was afraid of what would happen when I left it. I didn’t have the strength to bring myself out of it, but it was only a matter of time until Victoria did. I knew that.  


Sure enough, “Max?” Victoria’s voice was entirely soft, every ounce of iciness and scorn removed from it.  


I was still wrapped in her arms. My hands had clutched at the back of her dress. I loosen my grip slightly, afraid to let go completely. My face was buried in her neck. I’d soaked her skin with my tears. “I’m so sorry.” Was I apologising for my breakdown? Or for crying all over her shoulder? I wasn’t even sure myself.  


“Hey,” Victoria said, still using that soft and soothing tone. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. Are you okay?”  


Was I okay? I didn’t know how to answer that. In the short term, I supposed so. It wasn’t like I was going to self-combust or anything. But in the long term, I was pretty sure I was not okay. Something was wrong with me. Very wrong. “I don’t know.”  


Victoria grasped the back of my head and held me to her throat. “Max, you just… said a lot of things… concerning things. Do you remember what you said?”  


I took a moment to think. “Parts. I’m sorry. I don’t…”  


“It’s okay. It’s okay Max. I want you to listen to me, okay Max? Can you do that?”  


I hummed assent against her throat.  


“Max, I need you to talk. Use words. I have to know you’re understanding everything I say.”  


That was such a weird thing to say, but, “okay.”  


“I want you to answer a question for me. Don’t be afraid. Be honest. I won’t judge. I’m pretty sure I already know the answer anyway. Do you understand? No judgement here in this room, Max. No judgement between you and me. Okay Max?”  


“Okay.” I felt so numb, like my breakdown had taken all of emotions and thrown them out to the wind, or locked them away deep inside me.  


“Are you submissive?”  


Submissive? “I… I don’t understand.”  


“You don’t know what that means Max?” I heard no judgement in her voice. She had said, no judgement.  


“Well, I guess, but…” But I didn’t know what to say. Of course, I knew what the word meant. I supposed it could be used to describe how Victoria made me feel.  


Victoria seemed to sense my hesitation. “You like being told what to do. You like being hurt. Abused. Verbally and physically. It makes you feel good. In a calming, serene sort of way, but also sexually. It’s okay Max. You don’t have to be ashamed of it. I just need you to say it. Can you do that for me Max?”  


Hearing it spoken like that, it was terrifying. It was one thing having those kinds of thoughts, but when Victoria voiced them, spelled it all out like that, it was like she was writing a confession, and now she expected me to sign it. I didn’t know if I could do it. She had said no judgement, but this was Victoria Chase. Could I trust her? She said she was already pretty sure of the answer, but pretty sure was not sure. If I confirmed it, what would happen? I could deny it and then… what? What would I do? Run away? Deny it forever? But if I confessed how I felt, what would Victoria do? Tell the whole world? Ruin me? Make me a laughing stock? Force me to drop out of school? All of my options seemed horrible.  


I felt panic seize my heart.  


“Hey, Max, listen to me. I know you’re afraid. I know how scary this must be for you. And I think I know what’s going on in your head right now. I can’t blame you for that. I’ve given you no reason to trust me, but I want you to know that you can. You can trust me, Max. I know I haven’t earned that trust, but I want to. So let me start. I’m going to trust you, Max, with some of my deepest and darkest secrets.” I heard and felt her take a deep, shaky breath. “I’m a lesbian, Max. I fancy girls. More than that, I fancy you. So fuckin’ much.”  


Wait, what!?  


“Ever since I first laid eyes on your cute, dorkishly adorable face. But I was afraid. Too afraid to act on my feelings on the chance I’d be rejected by you. I was sure you weren’t gay, but I think I was wrong about that now. Was I? It’s okay, you don’t have to answer yet. I want you to trust me, Max. So here’s another secret.”  


Victoria swallowed heavily.  


“I’m into BDSM. I’m a dominant, which is like the opposite of a submissive. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve fantasised about tying you up and teasing you, spanking you, doing every wonderfully perverse thing my mind can come up with to you. Saying all of this feels wrong, somehow, but I don’t know how else to convince you that you can trust me. I’m laying it all on the line here Max. I’m laying myself bare for you, because I want you to trust me. Please Max? I’ll tell you anything. Whatever you want to know.”  


I could only think of one thing. “You’re gay? You… you fancy… me?” I couldn’t help the note of disbelief that crept into my voice at the end there. It just seemed too farfetched. She was Victoria freakin’ Chase. She could have anyone. Why would she want me?  


Victoria actually laughed. “Yes. And yes. Very much so. Max, I feel like I’ve made a total mess of this whole thing. When I propositioned you into becoming my… you know what… for three months, I was… it was wrong… I just wanted to get a taste of what it’d be like to be with you in the way I’ve always wanted, but felt I could never have. I took advantage of you and it was wrong.”  


I was confused. Not surprising. This whole thing was a confusing mess. It didn’t feel real, but the throb in my knee was enough to convince me I was awake. “I don’t understand. Why was it wrong? If you’re a dominant and I’m…” I still couldn’t say it, but maybe I didn’t have to. “Isn’t that how it works?”  


Victoria sighed. “No, Max. It’s more complicated than that. At least, it should be. There are rules and things that make it safe for everyone involved. Otherwise people get hurt. Like you.” We were silent for a while. I was trying to process everything, but having a hard time doing it. “Max?”  


“Yes?”  


“Can you look at me?” Victoria eased her hold on my head, allowing me to pull back and look at her, if I wanted to. I wasn’t sure I did. It felt easier talking about all of this if I wasn’t looking at her. But she clearly wanted me to, so I forced myself to do it. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t what I found. Victoria was looking at me, her green eyes shiny with tears she wouldn’t let fall. I’ve never seen her look so vulnerable. “Hi.” She smiled, reassuringly.  


I couldn’t help the smile that came to my lips. “Hi.”  


“I will explain everything, Max. If you want me to. Later. I just need to know if I’m right. Are you submissive?”  


Looking into her eyes, seeing such honest emotion there, I knew I owed her the truth. “I… I think so.” I knew I was, but it was too hard to say yes.  


“And, are you gay?”  


I nodded, and then remembered her request that I use my words, so I squeaked out a whispered, “yes”.  


Victoria brought her hands around to palm my cheeks gently. “Are you attracted to me, Max?”  


I wondered if Victoria could feel the heat of my blush through her hands. “Yes.” I’d come so far, it made no sense to lie now.  


Victoria brought her forehead to mine. “Max, thank you. Thank you for trusting me. I promise, you won’t regret it.” Then she brought her lips to mine. It wasn’t a deep kiss. Just a simple pressing of lips against lips, but the act sent tingles throughout my whole body. When she pulled away, only a few seconds later, she was actually… not smiling. A smile was not enough to describe her expression. She was beaming at me. I could have counted her teeth if I wanted to. She’d never looked more beautiful to me. “Sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”  


I shook my head, moving her hands with the motion. “Don’t say sorry.”  


“I just don’t want to assume anything, Max. just because we both happen to be gay, and you’re submissive to my dominant, doesn’t mean that you’re mine.”  


“Doesn’t it?”  


Victoria seemed surprised at my response, but it felt clear to me already that I was hers. I had been all along. It was just that neither of us knew it. I may not understand the full meaning of that yet, but it felt true to me. I still felt like a freak. I wasn’t sure that feeling would ever go away. But at least now I felt accepted. Before, the fear of anyone finding out had nearly driven me mad. Now Victoria knew, and she didn’t mind. She accepted me. Of course, I was hers.  


“Max, you’re not obligated to me. Being submissive doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice. It means choosing to submit. That’s why what I did before was so wrong. I took that choice away from you. I blackmailed you.” She looked away from my eyes, and I saw how ashamed she was. It was odd. Like before Victoria was this paper cut out of a person, and now suddenly I was seeing all these new dimensions of her. I’d always thoughts of her as just the Queen Bitch, but I realised now how narrow minded that was. She was a human being. The Queen Bitch was just one part of her, but she was so much more than that.  


“Victoria?” I called her name gently, coaxing her to look back to me. “I’m not going to pretend I understand this. But I do know how I feel. I’m not mad at you. I’m feeling a lot of things, honestly, but anger is not one of them. Please, don’t feel bad.”  


“You’re a good person, Max. Thank you.” She let go of my cheeks and pulled back a little. I wasn’t sure I had fully convinced her to forgive herself, but at least I had assured her that I wasn’t mad. I missed the feel of her hands though, and wondered why she was pulling away. “This has been a crazy morning. My head is pounding. Hangovers suck.”  


“Oh.” I hadn’t even thought about that. Last night, she had clearly been drunk as a skunk. Of course, she would have a hangover. “What do you need? Can I do anything?”  


“It’s okay, Max. We still have stuff to talk about.”  


“But doesn’t your head hurt?” From what I understood, a hangover headache was bad news.  


“Understatement.” Victoria pulled herself up into a seating position on the edge of her bed. “Are you sure, Max? You don’t want to keep talking?”  


“I do, but… we can talk later… can’t we?” Oh god, what if we couldn’t? What if Victoria changed her mind?  


“Yeah, we can. Of course.” Stupid brain! See, it’ll be fine. Stop being paranoid and second guessing yourself! “I need to get some more sleep. And I need Advil. And water.”  


“Okay, I’ll get them for you. Lie down. I’ll be right back.”  


“I can get them.” Victoria went to stand, only to wobble slightly, a hand going to her head.  


I put my hands on her shoulders, a little hesitant, maybe, but I didn’t want her to fall. “V-Victoria, please… it’s fine, really. I can get them. I want to. Let me do this.”  


I took her lying down on the bed as agreement, and left her there while I went to the bathroom to retrieve the bottle of pills and some water, grabbing a glass along the way. When I returned, she was trying to remove her dress, with little success. It was comical, but I didn’t dare laugh. Victoria had never been this nice to me before, and I didn’t want to ruin it. Instead I moved to her side, setting the pills and water on her bedside table, and then helped her remove the dress.  


“Thanks,” she muttered, clearly embarrassed. I pretended not to notice.  


“Here you go.” I handed her the Advil and the water. She took them, and downed the glass, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand when she was done. It was the most undignified thing I’d ever seen her do. She was normally so composed and refined. Was she doing this on purpose? Did she know how different she was acting? I longed to ask, but feared to at the same time. This whole morning felt like a bubble that could pop at any time and I would do nothing to aggravate it.  


Victoria flopped back down on the bed and closed her eyes. With the dress gone, all she had on was the same sexy black underwear that had tormented me last night. The underwear she had worn to tease me. Given everything I now knew, it was clear that had been her goal. I smiled. It was kinda nice to be teased. But she wasn’t teasing me now. She was exhausted and hungover and it was probably time for me to go. I really didn’t want to. I started towards the door, not wanting to disturb her, when suddenly I felt her hand grab mine. I looked back at her in surprise.  


“Stay.” Just one simple word, and the look in her eyes, how could they make me feel so warm?  


“I… really? Are you sure?”  


“Stay.” Victoria repeated. “And not on the floor this time, you dummy.” She patted the space beside her, inviting me into her bed.  


I felt renewed tears in my eyes, but good ones this time. Happy tears. I wiped them away, smiling, and laid down beside her. She put her arm over me. I reached out tentatively for her, and she moved her other hand to pull my arm the rest of the way over her midsection. She held it in place. It felt so good.  


We drifted off to sleep, together.

**VICTORIA**

I felt much better the next time I woke up. Not one hundred percent, by any means, but functional. My head no longer pounded quite so severely. I was incredibly thirsty again, but I didn’t want to move, not with Max snuggled up against me. She had moved in her sleep, coming to rest her head in the nook of my neck, and her legs were tangled with mine. It was such a wonderful feeling. I didn’t want to break it. I just closed my eyes to the bright light shining in from the window and kept still, not wanting to wake her.  


Instead I thought about everything that had happened this morning. Max was clearly having a nightmare earlier, and when she woke up, it was like she was having a mental breakdown or something. She was sobbing and practically begging for forgiveness, talking about how she was a freak. It was horrible. I wondered how much of that was my fault. It was obvious that she had been having these thoughts for a while. I didn’t know how long, but I hoped it hadn’t been for long. The idea that she had been tormenting herself about this was bad enough.  


It seemed like she had no knowledge of BDSM, which wasn’t exactly surprising, given how naïve she was in the ways of the world. It must have been scary for her, to suddenly be overcome with her submissive desires, and have no context for them. I could understand why she would think of herself as a freak. It was my job now to show her that she wasn’t. I was lucky. I had Nathan to talk to, who fortunately shared my dominant impulses, and together we had kept each other sane and helped learn as much as possible about our shared kinky inclinations. Then, later, we had Mr. Jefferson, who knew a lot more about this stuff than we’d ever been able to learn. He taught us the rules and helped guide our first steps into the lifestyle. Max had none of that. Until now. I sincerely hoped that she hadn’t been dealing with these feelings for very long.  


“Mmmm.” Max moaned into the side of my neck. I opened one eye and peaked down at her. Her eyes were fluttering open. I found one of her hands with my own and interlocked our fingers. She arched her neck to look up at me, and I met her gorgeous blue eyes with my green ones. She smiled, shyly. Oh god, why did she have to be so adorable. It was like she’d been made specifically to turn me into jelly.  


I smiled back. “Good morning, dork.” I made sure to make my voice as sweet sounding as possible, removing all sting from the final word. I felt like Max was balanced on a thin wire, and below was a swarming pit of self-loathing. One wrong move by me, and she would tumble in and be lost to me. Until I could be certain she was on a more level emotional playing field, I would not risk being my usual bitchy self. That said, I couldn’t resist adding the teasing name, and trusted that my soft tone would be enough to remove any trace of bitchiness from it.  


Max didn’t seem to mind. “Morning,” she replied, voice still groggy from sleep.  


“Maybe more afternoon by this point, actually.” I thought aloud. “Either way… I guess we should get up…” I really didn’t want to.  


Max got this really dejected look on her face. “Oh. Yeah. Okay.” And I felt like a shit heel. Like I said, Max was on a thin wire, likely to take my words at face value, even if I didn’t mean them that way.  


Well done, Victoria.  


“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Max began.  


Fix it, now!  


Max was moving, sitting up, and the sudden loss of her warmth against my skin felt like losing a limb. I quickly sat up to stop her, wrapping my arms around her and holding her tight. My head came to rest on the top of hers. “Max, no,” I said. “I didn’t mean that.” I let out a little sigh. “We absolutely do not have to get up. I don’t want us to. I want to lie here all day with you. I just meant… I don’t know what I meant. It was a dumb thing to say. Forget it. Okay? Can we just… lie back down?”  


Max melted into me. “Yes, please.”  


I pulled her back down and kept a firm hold on her. It was the second time she had tried to leave, or more specifically, had felt like I wanted her to leave. Did she still doubt my feelings for her? I felt for sure she must. I couldn’t blame her. Up until this morning, I’d given her no reason to believe I liked her, and every reason to believe I hated her. That kind of thing wouldn’t change overnight. It would take a lot for me to convince her, but I was determined to do so. Everything I had wanted since I first laid eyes on Max was miraculously in sight, and I wouldn’t let it slip through my fingers.  


“I want you here, Max.” I tried to wrap as much of my feelings into my words as I could. “I know, this must all seem very jarring for you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But I meant everything I said this morning. I like you. And forgive me for sounding like such a dumb kid, but I mean, I like you, like you. I want to kiss you all over. I want to hold you as you sleep. I want to fuck you senseless with my fingers and my tongue and I want to have stupid ugly babies with you. Okay, maybe not that last part, but you know what I mean. What I’m trying to say. I want you, Max. So please, don’t ever think otherwise.”  


Max was looking at me, blushing, mouth open just a little in that super cute way she had. I looked back, trying to show just as much emotion with my eyes. Max closed hers, a thoughtful expression on her face. When she opened them again, a few seconds later, she quirked her lips a bit as she asked, “You think our babies would be ugly?”  


I laughed, relieved. If she was willing to joke with me, she must be feeling better. At the very least, she was more confident and comfortable with me. “All babies are ugly.”  


Max shook her head. “Nu-huh. I think you’d make beautiful babies, Victoria. How could they not be, with you as their mother?”  


I gently stroked her face with my fingertips, across her forehead, down the bridge of her nose, catching slightly on her lips. I ended by cupping her cheek in one hand. “Don’t sell yourself short. If we had babies, I’m certain at least fifty percent of their beauty would come from you, Maxine Caulfield.”  


She shut her eyes, but leaned into my touch, a conflicted expression on her face. “How can I love both your compliments, and your insults? Why does it have to be so confusing?”  


And here was what we really needed to discuss. I had to do my best to explain to Max the complex intricacies that were involved in a BDSM orientated relationship. Oh, how unprepared for this I felt. I was sure of my own knowledge, but I’d had years to come to terms with it, piece by piece. Max had been thrust into the deep end, and now I had to throw her a life jacket, or she’d drown. The only problem was, I was not at all confident in my ability to reach her. Yet, I had to try.  


“I understand how confusing it is,” I started, trying to buy myself some time to think of the best way to approach this. “I think the context is important. Of course you enjoy my compliments. Who doesn’t like being flattered. You want to feel valued and loved. But what confuses you is how good it also feels when I insult you. When I shove you around. Right? You struggle to bring those two seemingly conflicting forces into balance.”  


Max nodded, tears welling in her eyes. “I just wish I could be… normal.”  


Talk about a sledgehammer blow to the heart. I cupped her cheeks so that she could only look at me. “Max, you are normal. There is nothing wrong with what you’re feeling.”  


She laughed, a sick sound of disbelief. “Normal people don’t… don’t… enjoy this stuff… Victoria, it’s… oh god… I can’t even say it…”  


“It turns you on.” I was pretty sure that was what she was trying to get out.  


Max cast her eyes downward. “You’re not even embarrassed a bit, are you?”  


“At first I was. I was confused, just like you. But once you start to learn, to explore, it gets easier. You realise there is nothing wrong with it. There are lots of people like you, Max. Lots of submissives who have felt like you do now, and more that are going through exactly what you are right now, as well. I promise you. They might even be doing it alone, which is the scariest thing ever. But you’re not alone, Max. You have me, if you want?”  


Her lip gave a little quiver. “Really?”  


I brought my forehead to hers and whispered, “really.”  


She smiled, small, but it was a smile. “You’ll help me learn?”  


“I will. We can go slowly. Explore your fantasies and talk about how they make you feel. That’s the thing, Max, you don’t have to have one or the other. You don’t have to choose which you want, the – for lack of a better word – ‘nicer’ me, or the dominant me. You can have them both. You will have them both. They’re both a part of me. Just like your submission is a part of you, but not the whole you.”  


Max nodded, slowly, as if still processing the information.  


“Remember how I said there were rules and things to make sure no one got hurt?”  


“Oh, yeah? What kind of… rules? That sounds so strange to say. Not that any of this sound normal to me. Sorry. I’m just… my head is all over the place. But rules? It sounds so regimented… like military type stuff. Do I have to salute you?”  


I laughed, picturing that, and then shook my head. “No, you dork.” I brushed my nose against hers teasingly, and she actually giggled. Progress. “It’s not that defined. It’s more like… a set of principals. It’s called safe, sane and consensual. The way it works is, when we’d be doing anything that involved me dominating you, we would make sure that you’re safe from any kind of permanent injury, that you’re in the right head space for it, and that, most importantly, you are consenting to everything that happens. Does that make more sense?”  


“Yes, I think I understand that. But how do we actually, you know, do that?”  


“Well, in regards to your safety, you would have a safe word. That would be a word you could use that would immediately stop anything I was doing. For example, if I was doing something you weren’t sure about or you weren’t enjoying, you’d just say whatever word we had agreed on, and I would know to stop right away. Then we could talk and you could tell me what it was that you didn’t like, and I could take care of you and make sure that you’re okay. That also works with the sane and consensual parts as well.”  


“What if I forgot the safe word though?” Max looked quite concerned about that, which was understandable.  


“Well, another important part of this kind of relationship is trust. My role as a dominant is to read your feelings and your body language to judge how you’re reacting to what I’m doing. You would need to trust that I know what I’m doing, and that I would stop if I sensed any kind of distress from you. We could also work out different ways for you to let me know you’re not into what I’m doing. For example, you could tap out, like wrestlers or mma fighters do. It’s not as clear as using a safe word, but if you forget the word, it’s a workable back up.” I could tell she was still a little concerned by the furrow between her brows. I bumped noses with her again, to get her attention. “Max, trust me, that won’t be a problem. Especially not at first. We will go really slowly. We will talk about everything before and after. I will make sure that everything is okay and I won’t do anything you have not already verbally agreed to beforehand. I swear.”  


She seemed somewhat reassured by that, the furrow vanishing, and the small smile returning. She chewed on her lip a little, and then said, “okay.”  


“Does this sound like something you want to try with me, Max?”  


She took a few minutes to think. I let her. This was a big decision and I wasn’t about to make her rush it. As the seconds dragged on, I did start to become somewhat worried. What if she changed her mind? What if she decided she wanted northing to do with me? I couldn’t blame her, if she did, but… I was allowing my insecurities to get the better of me again. I quashed them down. Max didn’t need insecure Victoria right now. She needed the assured Victoria, to help guide her into a whole new side of the world. I could freak out later, in my own time. I hoped none of my worry had shown on my face.  


Finally, Max nodded, and said, “yes, I… I would like to… to try it. Please.”  


I allowed myself to smile. Okay, it was more of a grin, and I didn’t really allow it… I couldn’t help it. I wanted to squeal with happiness… but I didn’t. I just about managed to contain that part. “Thank you, Max. For trusting me.”  


We had a lot more to discuss. I would make sure she knew everything there was to know before we started to explore this new avenue of our relationship. No time like the present to start. I sensed it was going to be a long day, but I had never been happier.  


Not for as long as I could remember.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a lot shorter than the others, but I wanted to get something out as I've been a bit distracted lately. The next should be back to my usual length. Hope you guys enjoy it!

**VICTORIA**

It was a Saturday, so there was no pressure to get up. Due to my hangover, we’d already overslept plenty. I saw no reason to change that. I pulled Max down so that she was lying beside me, and we spent the whole day just talking. We started with BDSM. I wanted to assure her that everything would be fine, but soon enough, we’d wandered off topic, and I found myself telling her all about some of my favourite anime. When I found out she hadn’t even seen Spirited Away, I demanded she watch it immediately, and so we relocated to the couch. But that moment of separation seemed to have erected some kind of physical wall between us. Where before we had been close, arms touching as we talked, now we sat stiffly beside each other. She was fidgeting with her hands, eyes locked on the screen. I played absently with an errant thread of my throw. I wanted to reach out and pull her closer, but suddenly all these doubts plagued my mind and I felt silly. Would she want to snuggle while we watched the movie? What exactly were we now? Girlfriends? Yesterday, we had been, what? Enemies? Rivals? Then last night happened, and this morning, and suddenly our whole relationship was upside down. It was too fast. This whole thing was too fast and crazy and now I didn’t know what to do. 

Focus, Victoria!! 

That’s right, I was doing that thing again, getting lost in my own head and falling down the rabbit hole of doubt. Yes, some of my points were definitely valid. Whatever was happening, it was too fast. But that didn’t change the fact that it was happening. Max had slept in my bed, snuggled up beside me. We had kissed. She had confessed to being attracted to me. And I’d told her how I felt. While that didn’t make us anything, at least it was enough to tell me she would probably be okay with snuggling on the couch. We didn’t have to define anything right now. 

I glanced at her. She was so focused on the movie, she didn’t even register me looking, so I boldly stared. She looked as nervous as I felt. Was she questioning herself at this moment, just like me? I imagined what Nathan would say if he could see me now. He’d roll his eyes in exasperation and tell me to, ‘fucking hold her already you wimp!’. So I plucked up the courage and rested my arm along the back of the couch.

Well done Braveheart. You’re snuggling with a couch now. 

Shut up, mind!

I swallowed the nervousness and let my arm fall around Max’s shoulders. She tensed for a moment, and I had a second to panic (idiot!), but then she relaxed, and smiled at me sheepishly. I pulled her closer and she practically melted into me, as if all of the tension had been drained from her body and she had turned to mush. I didn’t mind one bit. I settled back into the couch and smiled to myself. Watching awesome anime and cuddling with Maxine Caulfield… check that off the bucket list. 

It was nearly eleven o’clock by the time the film was finished. We’d slept for most of the day, so neither of us felt especially tired. Max had shifted so she was lying with her head in my lap. I played with her hair, as I had with the thread earlier, only this felt so much nicer. The credits rolled, but neither of us spoke. It was just so peaceful, and honestly, at this point, I really didn’t know what to say. Not in an uncomfortable way. Just… I didn’t want to break this peaceful moment. 

I thought back again to how all of this came about. Life was crazy, and terrifying, but beautiful. That pretty much summed up how I was feeling right now. I never would have imagined this, not in a million years, but here we were. Max snuggled in my lap, contently rubbing her cheek against my thigh and almost purring like a kitten. Idlily, I wondered if she fantasised about petplay, but banished the thought before it could consume me. I’d have plenty of time to discover that, or at least, I hoped I would. Doubt was strong, annoyingly so, as I felt like this whole situation was too good to be true, and as fragile as a house of cards. One wrong move and it would all come tumbling down. It was making me second guess my every move. 

Perhaps it was because this all felt like it was happening way too fast. Sure, I wanted this more than anything, but now that it was happening, almost overnight, I felt out of control. And that was one thing I had always hated. In my musings on my own nature, I had come to the conclusion that I liked being a domme because of the control it gave me. I was a control freak in every aspect of my life, from my photography work, all the way to the bedroom. I kept everything neat and tidy, in its place, from my bedroom, no book out of order, to my appearance, not a hair out of place, and my social standing, always imperious. My life was firmly under my thumb. 

Until now. Now Max had swept me up in this, whatever this was, and I felt like a leaf being blown in the wind. I twisted and turned, dipped and rose, all at the will of this unseen force. I had to regain some control, but I had no idea how to do that. The scariest part was, I didn’t hate the feeling. It was scary, sure, but I would surrender all control to keep this moment alive, to keep Max in my arms. Never before had I felt that way. Perhaps that was the point. Perhaps, to have something so special, you had to be a bit reckless. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. 

Don’t overthink things, Victoria. Max is here, she looks happy, you’re happy, just enjoy the moment, and don’t let your fears ruin it. 

A deep breath helped to calm my wandering thoughts. 

Max turned so that she was looking up at me. Her face was pensive. “Victoria?”

“Yes, Max?” 

“What happens now?”

“In regards to?”

Max sighed. “I don’t know… everything… this… um….” 

I moved my hand to cup her cheek, one finger over her lips to gently shush her. I gave her my best reassuring look. “We don’t need to… rush anything. We can just… hang out. Get to know each other a little better?” I made sure to choose my words carefully. 

“You don’t want to… you know… dominate me?” Max blushed. 

Oh, jesus. Temptation is the devils work alright. “Max… I do. Of course I do. But I think we should wait. Not because I don’t want to - god, I want to so bad. Please don’t think that I don’t. I just think it would be better for us if we built up some more trust, a stronger… relationship. If we figured out what we even mean to each other first.”

Max actually looked disappointed. “Oh, yeah. Okay.”

Was she that desperate? I guess it’s not that unusual. I remembered how I felt, the first time I started to explore my fantasies. I’d wanted it all, right then and there, no waiting. I’d imagined up a submissive to tie up, tease and torment, despite the fact that I really would have had no idea what I was even doing. Hell, I still felt like that, even though I did have the experience now. I’d experimented a little, mostly with Courtney, but she never really felt like my sub. There was no real attraction there. Courtney was just a crash test dummy for my BDSM inclinations. With Max, I knew it would be different. I got nervous just thinking about it. 

“Hey,” I said, and made sure she was looking into my eyes. With my domme voice fully engaged, I told her, “I will dominate the fuck out of you, Maxine Caulfield. I promise you. It’s going to happen.” 

I felt her shiver. Watched her blush, which had been fading, flare back up. I saw her eyes close slightly, and the way she sucked in a breath. “Please…” she begged, and oh god it was so fucking hot. I wanted her right then. I almost did it. Almost gave her exactly what she thought she wanted. But I managed to remain in control. I have no idea how. Instead I made her sit up so that I could stand and pace a few steps away. She gave a protesting little whimper (so damn cute!). I took a breath to steady myself, and then turned to face her. I found her hunched in on herself, looking down at her feet, obviously upset. 

Shit.

Two long steps closed the distance. I knelt in front of her so that I could see her face. Her eyes shone with tears.

Fuckin shit.

“Max, hey, come on.” I reached out to take her head in my hands. 

She sniffled. “Why don’t you… why don’t you want… I… I thought you liked me…”

“I do, Max. Please, don’t cry. I told you, it’s going to happen. I promised, and I keep my promises. I didn’t get up because I don’t want you. I got up because I want you too damn much. Because I was seconds away from… from giving in. And that would be bad, Max. Not because the act of dominating you would be bad – I think it’d be fucking wonderful – but because you’re not in the right frame of mind for this. You’re overly emotional, you’re still processing a lot of this, and I’m not convinced you’re over the whole… ‘freak’ thing. This isn’t me blaming you, either. I understand. I’m actually trying to protect you. What if we do something, and you can’t handle it, and you blame yourself, or me, or… just… we could fuck this whole thing up if we just rush headlong into it. Remember, safe, sane, and consensual. This is the sane part.”

Max’s lip quivered, but she nodded. “Y-yeah… I-I’m sorry… I just…”

“I know.” I kissed her, another small peck on the lips. “It’s okay, Max.”

Max wiped at her eyes, attempting to clear away the tears. “You’re not mad at me? You still… want me?”

She was filled with so much self-doubt and insecurity. Maybe that was why I liked her so much? Because we weren’t as different as we appeared. We just handled it differently. I put up a front, projected the image I wanted people to see. Whereas Max let it all out into the world, let everyone see all of what she was. I kind of admired her honesty. I could never be that way. It would require giving up too much control. I guess that was the fundamental difference between us. Why I was the way I was, bitchy, abrasive, a perfectionist, and why she was soft, kind, and spontaneous. 

As I digested her words, looking into her eyes, I knew she needed something, some sign of how serious I was. I kissed her again (god, her lips felt better every time, I didn’t want to stop), and said, “I want you, Max.” Every time I said her name, I was trying to reinforce in her mind the truth of my words, as if saying her name was like some kind of stamp of approval, binding. Stamp of approval… that could work. Or something like it, at the very least. I’m pretty sure tattooing her ass wasn’t exactly a healthy step at this point of our relationship (but mind, file that idea away for future reference – ‘cos that is hot, hot, hot). No, tattooing was off the table for now, but some other kind of symbol, some mark of… not ownership… intent. “Sit tight for a second.” 

I gave her another quick kiss (yup, still fuckin’ amazing), and left her to ponder that while I searched my drawers for the item in question. It didn’t take me long to find it. Max was watching me, curious expression on her face, as I returned to her, said item held, hidden in the palm of my hand. I knelt in front of her again. 

“See this,” and here I showed her the simple elastic hairband I held in my hand, “this represents my intentions for you, Max. Some subs wear a collar, given to them by their dominant, mostly just during playtimes. Others wear more permanents ones, but those are designed to easily blend in among vanilla people (that’s people that aren’t into BDSM). They can be bracelets, necklaces, that kind of thing. This isn’t a collar – we aren’t there yet, and if we ever are, it’ll be something we discuss beforehand. This is a sign to show you that I’m serious about us. It means I want you. It means I want you as my sub. It means the promise of a future together, whatever that may bring. I want you to wear it on your wrist, like a bracelet, so you will feel it every second of every day, and know what it means.”

Max was looking at me, her eyes still glossy with tears, her mouth open, her breath hitching, a soft flush in her cheeks. She swallowed, and gave a faint nod. I held the band up, and when she offered her hand to me, I slipped it on, letting the elastic snap against her flesh. She flinched, but smiled. I let her get used to the feel of it, watched her play with it, that faint smile lighting up her features. She looked so happy, and I knew I’d made the right choice.

It wasn’t a collar. It was the promise of one to come. 

**MAX**

Back in my own room, lying on my bed, I couldn’t stop looking at the simple band around my wrist. What had Victoria called it? A promise of intent. It meant she wanted me. That she liked me. She had snapped it around my wrist, the sting a promise of things to come. It had felt so good. I was getting excited just thinking about it. God, when had I become such a ball of horniness? It never used to be like this. I’d had sexual thoughts before, like any teenager, but never so often as since I’d come to Blackwell. And my thoughts and fantasies before Blackwell, before Victoria, had been relatively normal. Nothing like the ones that plagued me now. 

I screwed my eyes up, balled my hands into fists, and then propelled myself up and out of bed. If I laid there any longer, I would give into my impure impulses. I had to busy myself with something else, or risk going insane. My laptop beckoned, promising a good distraction, but it turned out to be a lying piece of poop. The distraction lasted only a few minutes, before I found myself googling BDSM, dominants and submissives. I threw myself into this new world of knowledge, trying to learn as much as possible, reading Wikipedia entries and similar websites. It wasn’t long before I stumbled across porn. Images of dominant men and submissives women, some of women dominating men (I didn’t even know that was a thing!), and finally women dominating women. 

Those were the ones I looked at the most, redirecting my search to focus on those. I saw leather bound Goddesses, whipping naked submissives with all kinds of different implements. I saw fully clothed women standing tall over kneeling, nude women. Submissive women tied up in all sorts of ways, sometimes gagged, sometimes not. Dominant women sitting on the faces of submissives. Women having sex with dildos strapped to their bodies. Women being spanked, licking bare feet or dirty shoes, and even being used as furniture. It was mental overload for my still developing fantasies. Before long, I could resist no more, and I was pulling down my shorts and panties and touching myself, right there at my desk. 

I felt the curls of my pubic hair, damp with wetness and sweat, tickling my wrist as I rubbed gently at my folds. The sensation was overwhelming, given all the mental stimulation I’d been putting myself through, and I couldn’t control the sounds escaping my mouth. I gasped and moaned and looked through lidded eyes at the image that had pushed me past my self-control. The picture was of a naked sub, bent over and locked in some kind of medieval punishment device (I think they’re called stocks), her bottom lined and reddened by the cane of her domme. The domme was dressed impeccably, and while she didn’t exactly look like Victoria, it was easy to imagine her wearing something similar.  


In fact, as my fingers slipped between my netherlips, that’s exactly what I did. I imagined Victoria as the domme in the picture, and replaced the submissives round bottom and shapely legs with my skinny ones. The way the picture was taken, you couldn’t see the submissives upper body, and that was fine by me. I closed my eyes, increasing the pace of my thrusts, trying weakly to control my moaning, as I imagined Victoria bringing the cane down across my exposed buttocks. 

Thwack! “Do you like this you stupid fuckin’ loser!?” Imaginary Victoria sounded a lot like the Victoria I used to know, before she had revealed her more tender side to me, the one that would shove me in the halls of Blackwell, and sneer at me with her perfect, beautiful face. Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! The cane came hard and fast, and I danced as the pain flared across my butt. I sobbed, but begged for more. 

A tear slipped from beneath one of my closed eyelids, and slowly rolled down my cheek. I took a deep breath, gasping breath, and begged out loud to my imaginary Victoria, my voice barely a whisper, “please, more.” 

She complied, with no mercy for my pitiful form. I was nearing orgasm when the idea hit me. I raised my wrist to my lips, the one with the band around it (thankfully, not the one I was using to touch myself with), and took the symbol of Victoria’s intent between my teeth. I pulled, and then released, hissing at the sharp sting against my flesh, and revelling in the swell of intense pleasure that swept through my ladybits. I did it again, and then again, each time gasping, the rush of pain propelling me towards completion. With one last snap, I came, shuddering in my chair, the seat now slick with sweat and… other things. When I collapsed, coming down from the sexual high, I looked at the hairband and my wrist. The flesh was reddened and lined, just like the woman’s butt in the picture. I smiled happily, and closed my eyes in exhaustion.


End file.
